Friday, 15 August 2014

Do You Miss Being You? Pre-Parenthood!


Do you miss being you? The part before becoming a parent. As you may well and truly know by now I have spent the week away from Corey whilst he is on holiday with his dad. I have missed him so much, but I got to reminiscing as I had time to do bits and bobs that I wouldn't do with him.

I am only just 21 so pretty young still and I fell pregnant back when I was 16. Oh so cliche, no judgements please. I have always been mature for my age, I know that, I grew up fast - I had that chance bceause I looked a lot older than I am. Before I was pregnant, I had left school and I spent my evenings either doing the most insane amount of walking with my friend, at the pub, in the car just driving (not me driving!) or just chilling.

There was a thing the other that I was reading on why mums don't let kids aged 10 (ish) out and about to the park anymore like we used to as kids. When in fact crimes have down something like 20% since then. I have to admit I really suck at remembering this, so apologies if you read this and my figures are slightly off. But do you know why I think it is worse, there may be less crime but the crimes is worse and frankly by younger people these days. In my opinion anyways, in my town it is awful - people younger than me getting done for attempted murder etc. The evening that I am writing this on, I read that a 15 year old girl got arrested for stabbing at 21 year old man. I wasn't very innocent at 15, lets face it I liked to stay out late and hang around with the bad boys. But I could never even think about harming anyone, let alone hang around with someone who would!

This week, the partner and I had a date night. We were driving around on the way home and it felt nice - for a glimpse second, it reminded me of who I used to be. But missing Corey, I cried right there and then in the car. I wanted my baby back!

After our date night, we ended up at Tesco for some bits we needed. Being a grown up is so glam isn't it? We brought a pack of cards, we wanted board games but they were expensive! We were going old school :) You can tell I am a mum, as they are Ninja Turtle cards! As much as I love technology and that is the future. My phone is constantly attached to me and Corey knows how to use an ipad more than my mum does! But what happened to the days where muddy puddles, game nights and stuff were fun? Being a child, being innocent. 10 year olds who have blogs, I didn't know about this until I was like 18 and took me 2 years to pluck up the courage to attempt it last year.

I have the chance every other weekend to go out if I wanted too as Corey is away from me without choice. I could take advantage of that but most of the time, instead I am a boring old lady counting down the hours till he returns.

I probably go out around 5 times a year now with the girls, surprisingly I am still not a lightweight like they are! I can drink as much as them and still be more sober, even now. Even though I was 16, I was still able to get into the clubs so I had my chance then when my friends didn't. I partied with the older crowds and had my days doing what I wanted. But now I don't see the fun in nights out! I get bored, I come home by 1 oclock. I do enjoy the midnight subway trip though, yummmyyy!

The first picture is my prom selfie from back in 2009, I was only 15 here! The bottom three, okay so the only one pre-baby was on the right, the other two are actually after but I couldn't find any decent before baby photos as my skin was horrendous!!!

I may have been young when I had Corey but when my kids are grown up, left the house I will only be 40 (ish). Some of the things I can't do now, that doesn't mean I won't eventually. I want to take trips to Paris and New York, I will one day.

Do you miss being the old you? My friend Hayley done a post (view here) on does being a mummy give you a new identity. I agree with everything she has said and I admit, I do think becoming a parent, things change - obviously! But I wouldn't change that for the world :) I love my life, I love my son and I love being a mum!

Love, Gemma xo

1 comment :

  1. It definitely does change you and your lifestyle, Toby's only 5 weeks old but already I've noticed friends I thought wouldn't be interested have been amazing and, sadly, some who 'couldn't wait to meet the baby' haven't even sent a card or picked up the phone. I know moving forward that I'll look forward to the odd spa day, date night and weekend away, but likewise I wanted a baby for a very long time and never felt like I'd know the true 'me' until I became a Mummy xx



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