Tuesday, 12 August 2014

Hidden Illneses


Sometimes it is hard when you have an illness that people can't see or don't know much about. People can be judgemental, when I was younger I was one of them!

hidden illnesses

I remember along time ago, a family member suffered with IBS, I never believed her (I was like 14) until one day I saw her have the pains - I saw how bad it was. She luckily found tablets that helped. Other people I know are agrophobic, I think how can they sit inside all day every day?

But then I grew up, I had Corey which really lets just say messed my insides up a bit with the whole caesarian as well as my weight causing problems such as IBS and Gallstones. Last year I spent most of it ill, I would be in agony with all sorts of stomach cramping pains - every night without fail. Even caught Jaundice at one point, you can not understand how itchy that was - it was awful.

I am sort of learning to control my IBS, I am currently on no tablets for it though. So if I eat loads then I suffer loads and have had to cut down my dairy in take etc. It is controllable but losing weight would help even more!

I have never had Anxiety before, and I wouldn't really say I do now either. But in January, I had my first ever Panic Attack the day before a big job interview. It was the first of a few and it is hard.

When I was younger I developed Chronic Fatigue which sometimes I see to be an excuse of being lazy. But honestly, I am always tired. I struggle to do day to day jobs, my weight plays a part in this too with losing my breath quickly etc but that's a whole different story!

I wouldn't say I have depression but sometimes like most of us girls - I do have down days, I don't need tablets for it as I can handle it myself! I have alot of down days, far too many. I cry a lot with a lot of hormones, most days I spend in bed. Those who are aware of what the Implant does will know how severe the side effects are but I choose them over time of the month!

I admit I don't like going out, I make excuses. The only places I really ever go now are to do the weekly shop, my mums or grandparents house. I am partial to the odd shopping trip here and there too obviously!

This may seem like a little self pity party, to some extent it is I guess but unless you have been through some of these, you wouldn't know how someone else feels. I didn't!

I sometimes think f**k sake things couldn't get any worse, but they could be a hell of a lot worse. In the scheme of things, I am fortunate and I am so lucky I have Corey who helps me get through each day. I don't know what I would do without his giggle, cuddles and kisses! It is enough to make my day every day :)

I don't think people understand fully about how I feel on a day to day basis because frankly I don't tell them the whole story like I have today. I think I thought writing about it might help and to some extent it has but maybe also it may raise a bit of awareness to how bad some people may be feeling but you wouldn't know as can't physically see it or know about it!

I generally don't like to admit this sort of stuff to people, but I have realised through blogging there is a lot of people who go through the same thing, bloggers support each other so you will always have someone :)

Hope this post helps a little to someone!

Love, Gemma xo


  1. Really loved this post! I can totally relate. It is really difficult to suffer from an illness that most people dont understand or know about! x

  2. Well said! I think sharing your vulnerability with the world is a very brave thing to do - we all like to pretend we are Super Woman, but some days we have to admit that we are human and things do get to us. I hope writing all this down has helped x #weeklylinky

  3. People just don't realise what goes on behind closed doors, how people feel.
    I suffered with both depression and anxiety a few years ago. On the surface, at work and in public I'd put on a smile but literally as I walked thru the front door I'd break down completely. I was a mess. I guess we could look at the whole Robin Williams thing too, who'd have thought he was battling these demons behind closed doors.
    I think it so important to come out and speak to people! Well done for writing this post hun!
    Lianne | TheBrunetteSays...

  4. I completely sympathise! I have relapsing remitting MS which goes hand in hand with chronic fatigue. I also get bouts of IBS as well. Like you say, it's the fact that these things are largely invisible that make them harder. If people could see that I was seeing stars from standing for too long, or that the feeling was going from my legs, then people would treat me accordingly. As far as the general public is concerned I look perfectly healthy. Luckily for me though, it's the people who really matter - my friends and family - who know the signs of me struggling. That's all I really care about :)

  5. I have CFS and it's currently pretty bad and I also have Anxiety. I hate that people that don't see me everyday just don't understand and judge pretty quickly!





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